the nonsensical musings of a clueless twenty something

Walking and Other Things That Cause Habitual Nonsense


I mess up in life with great frequency (I think they call it being human (or something)).

A little.

Really, I act and react to and inside of life in ways that allow for instant and immediate (that’s the same thing) gratification in situations that would (more than likely) benefit from a period of pause.

I think they call that period of pause “reason.” However, I’m not incredibly familiar with it…so…I can’t really confirm my nonsensical assumptions surrounding it.

This habitual way of living can be compared to sticking your hand under a running faucet that’s spewing hot water. No, it doesn’t burn right away, but you’ve done it enough times that you know what’s coming.

You have those 2 very long seconds where the understanding and anticipation of your skin scalding coalesce.

Magical.

My whole world lives inside of those 2 enchanted seconds. Where you know what you’ve done and you’re just waiting on the emotional or literal repercussions.

Obviously, life doesn’t always burn. Some of the very best things that have happened inside of my interesting time on this planet were due to my inability to take pause.

Like my love, Allie (impulse).

She only looks sweet and intelligent.

And the trip I took here (impulse).

This…is Florence.

And all of the time and energy I’ve invested into this (impulse).

If you’re a bird…I want to be whatever’s next biggest on the food chain.

On Sunday a dear friend of mine and I visited a new church that we immediately fell into sweet, sweet love with (we may or may not have arrived late due to Google Maps being a terrible app (and us having zero navigational proclivities)).

The entire teaching was on the human brain and the highways of thought we enable and cultivate inside of it.

You’ll never believe it, but, our habits (thought and otherwise) are all manifested through repetition.

Shock and awe.

I know.

I’ll give you a second to process this.

Alright.

Moving on.

What I gathered from this grand little talk on the human brain was that our habitual thinking is a lot like walking down the middle of a meadow every day (this is how my brain works). Eventually that path will begin to wear, and it will be less difficult to travel this hypothetical path. Furthermore, ultimately, all of the foliage will turn to dirt and it will become the only path that really makes any sense to walk around on.

If your path is a positive, uplifting, forward-thinking, and self-loving path…then, well, that’s fanfriggintabulous.

But, if it’s not (which was the point of this sermon), you have to learn to deconstruct the highways and reconstruct your meadow (a little amalgamation of concepts for you fine folks).

I’ll be the first to admit that my meadow is sort of not awesome. I’ve spent a lot of my life doing and thinking and being things that haven’t been the most…shall we say…spiritually fruitful.

No, I’m not calling my moral steadfastness into question, here. I’m calling my ability to genuinely like myself into question.

I don’t feel weird saying that, either.

I know there are people looking at the computer screen right now going…ME TOO, lady! ME TOO!

This isn’t to say I totally hate myself.

I mean, honestly.

I have dimples. And ideas. And I make amazing pizza.

It’s just that when it comes down to it, you are your largest and most actual critic. And if you aren’t saying the right things, you’re capable of doing some monstrous damage to your sweet little self.

Pair that with a tendency to allow other people to tread your meadow freely and you’re doubling down on the wear-and-tear.

So how, you ask, do you deconstruct this barren highway so that you can reconstruct a bigger, badder, and more awesome meadow?

Stop putting your feet on that path.

And stop inviting other people to hang out in your meadow.

I know, right?

Annoyingly simple.

As are most things that are right and good in this world.

Allie and I went for a walk this morning. Our typical route…until I decided to make a sudden turn down a foreign road.

This was met with unexpected resistance.

Eventually, though, she decided that I knew what I was doing…and followed me.

Tomorrow we will probably take a different path.

And we’ll continue to take different paths.

Until, eventually, the whole, wide, expansiveness of the outdoors looks familiar.

It wouldn’t be learning if you didn’t take your dog, too.

Right?

(How’s that for super introspective and riddle-laden?)

Life is good.

See you soon, loves!

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This entry was published on June 12, 2012 at 7:53 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

4 thoughts on “Walking and Other Things That Cause Habitual Nonsense

  1. Johann on said:

    Amy, first you don’t know me, but you do know my good friend Jessi. As your blog shows up on her FB feed, that is how I became introduced to it.

    First, I must say that you write with an honest authenticity that is refreshing and alluring.

    Secondly, and I say this with even more conviction, it seems to me that if your blogs are a reflection of your life, then you are well on your way to having a good one. What I mean by that is that it seems as though you’ve realized that, although you’re an adult, life is rather mysterious and adults don’t actually “know” as much as they would like to think they do.

    Some folks refuse to accept this and stay fixed in their understanding of the world and their own life. Others, like yourself, seem to realize that living a good life entails good deal of reflection on the past and present as well as courage in the present in future. Most things life are rarely ossified such that there is only one way and it is the “right” way.

    Well, it seems that I have rambled on here for long enough. Especially since I am, more or less, a stranger to you and not necessarily someone you should spend any amount of time reading and contemplating.

    In any case, for what it’s worth, keep reflecting on your life and experiences and writing about them as I suspect it is beneficial for both yourself and your readers!

    Cheers!
    Johann

    • Johann,

      Firstly, let me explain to you how grateful I am that you not only took the time to stop by, but that you took the time to (very kindly) comment on my words. It’s an unexplainable and incredibly wonderful feeling to know that people read and consider the things that I post here.

      My blogs are definitely a reflection of my life and the things that I feel inside of it. But, like anyone, I find that writing it and acting on it are two totally different things. I certainly don’t “know” much of anything…really (seriously). I’m working on it, though! And, really, that’s the best that any of us can do.

      Please, please come by again and feel free to share any thoughts you might have! I love the input.

      Have an amazing week!
      -Amy

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